saving it...

I miss you persistently... I haven't felt loved and important for a while... You seem to be falling short of my expectation no matter how low I keep the bar... I get amazed every time... I think maybe this time you would come through...
But you don't realize, do you? That I cry and bleed
with every desperate moment I pass without your much desired heed...
Nobody needs anyone to cope with hard times
but you approach the dearest friend to make good times...
I feel stranded and deserted even in a crowd,
its just crowd for I always am seeking whom I make proud...
But its so sad that I have to look around....
Why should I when so long ago you I found,
but you are not here anymore!
And that keeps me confused and sore...
Do I wait and keep my life on standstill,
cos I wish to keep you my priority as long as and untill,
I collapse and all expectations are shattered...
I try hard... I do,
to hold on to you...
but to grab hold of you every time I want you around is exhausting...
Sometime show me your heart, sometime show me you're more eager than willing...
I know its not who you are,
but this isn't who you earlier were...
I want you at times, I need you at times, sometimes all I need you to do is pick up the damn phone, and I really don't want to be tortured while I await you to call next...
You are a fantastic friend and a heart of gold, I wish I had you more to have and to hold...
I am afraid to tell you how much I love you, cos I know I would be misunderstood...