Long - distance Short - comings

I want you here to so you can know me and I you..  Being familiar quite with each other's voices is no more than the tip of the ice berg.. 
I want  you here to not just hear me laugh but to see me cover my mouth while I do and maybe squish my cheeks cos my face now hurts from the constant grin that I have had since the past 2 hours for no reason.. 

I want u to see me squirm and shift in my spot and have a fingers fight when you say something sweet without any particular agenda or msg to convey..  And i want you to  see me when I finally fall silent... 

And i want you here to see u take a gasp when I dare say something daring..  And The kind of reaction I would want after such an episode can't be on call..  

I want gentle and non stop conversation between our fingers while spontaneous,  honest and relaxed conversations go on between our minds... 

Snippets

My heart sank down to the bottom of my chair when you took my name.. My full name..  (but later I realized I only had electricity to thank for that) Are u as mind fucked as I am..  I don't think so..  Men don't process tht way...  Alright then..  For the sake of sanity..  I will try and get u out of my head..  Such a  problem I am... Jussssst...  Stay..  I wanna get to know you so that I can justify this love I have for you.. 

There are so many things I wanna say to you..  So many reasons not to...  

Your job here is done...  I might have just lost myself to you..  Its just a lil alien feeling...  And i wanna deny it... just don't lead me on... U're cruel..  It's now established...  Pls be gentle and them pls blow my mind away ... 

At such a nascent stage..  So young..  There aren't even any memories to hold on to,  to indulge in.. So what exactly to miss..  To remember..  To just get lost in..  Like I wanna breathe but there isn't any air..  So what do I breathe...? Here's a cry for the future.. 

*problem * I've started having conversations with you in my mind cause I have stopped having conversations with you in person..  God save me now..  

Finally..  My subconscious has revealed you after much wonder..  I finally dreamt of you..  It took longer than it shud have..  Not tht it makes any difference..

Reruns of conversations with you...

So I had these doubts..  N these worries..  And these thoughts..  And just wen I was about to bury them..  You brought them to life and made them the harsh reality of my life..  (this was not for you..  But just a thought inspired)

How do I know if I am physically attracted to you..?  If everytime I think of you I think of the way you would write poetry with your body and mine..   How you would kiss me and how you would undress me..  And how I would feel as you move about.. Even though I have not been physically present with you.. For the first time in my life I am not afraid of being absolutely bare in front of you..  Or that I M not beautiful or thin enough.. I feel bold..  Beautiful..  Confident..  Have you instilled these feelings in me? I know already you would blow my mind..  Ruin me..  And i don't want it any other way...  Does this qualify as physical attraction?

I wanna love you the way you love..  I wanna be like you..  Think like you..  Its so strange and unwarranted yet I wanna be an extension of you...  What else can I do..  Ab tumhi sahi lagte ho...

S: there are many things I have said to you..  Many names I have called you by..  All in my thoughts
A: why didn't you ever tell me?
S: I would have just as much as I will in good time..  When the conversation stears in that direction...
A: that way u'll always keep waiting...
S: I have only been waiting for you..  Lemme know when the wait is over..
A: know now