A tune of the Past...

12:10 pm

Office!!!

I don’t really want to start from the beginning....
Just want to plunge into the waters of this feeling....

This song is playing the tune of the past....
I am running down the memory lane fast...


Just a minute ago I had my eyes shut and I was rocking on this chair
And then a moment I stopped and yester days were here...
Flash back consists of that underground cafe and that smoky air...
Yes... exactly this kind of music was there....


This song inspires... this song instigates... this song arouses thoughts...
This song compels words... this song keeps the present shielded out...
It has created this temporary mirage which will not last...
That is why this is the tune from the past...

Arz 2

Aao meri aaghosh mein..... Mujhse kuch baatein karo... Kuch main kahun kuch tum kaho... Raat bahut lambi hai... Phir bhi Waqt najane kyon lagta hai kam.... Aao yeh pal bitayein sang.. Kuch tum kaho kuch hum...


Aankhon mein khwaab hain naye... Kuch puraane jo humne saath the dekhe... Aao kuch pal aur saath bitaayein.. Dekhein yeh naye khwaab kya rang laayein


Kuch unginat kahaaniyaan hain tumhari... kuch unkahin.. kuch unsuni... Main hun yahaan ki jaan sakun tumhara har pahlu, tum shuru karo sunani..


Iss baat ki fiqr na ho ki sochne wala kya sochega.. Tum kaho dil ki har baat bedhadak... Mazaa to kaafiye ka tab hai.... Jab labzon ke teer chale bejhijak...

Arz kiya hai....

Aaj achi lag rahi hai har ek dhun... Kya gaaye yeh dil tu bhi to sun... Dil mein anginat armaan umad rahe hain... Mujhse yeh kuch baatein kar rahe hain...


Baithun paed ki sabsi unchi tehni pe... Jhulun uss tehni pe hawa ke sang... Niklu bina tay kare kahaan, ek lambi saer pe... Daalun iss zindagi mein naye kuch rang...


Na koi rok, aur na kisi ki tok... Bas mann chahi baatein, aur mann chahe log... Sapno se pare ek lambi neend... Bas itni si hai ummeed...


Aankhon mein bhari shararat... Dil ko gudgudati hassi... Chehre pe liye halki si ek muskaan... Bas Yun hi hun main aaj liye kuch armaan...

THE HEART HAS REASONS THAT REASON DOES NOT UNDERSTAND

The mind thinks plenty although barely anything one could gain.
So I guess that’s why they’re called matters of the heart and not mind….
Heart… one of the simplest things you will ever find…
Its simple.. not complicated.. not full of trickery or deception
It simply says I do or I don’t…. without confusion…

Today my mind is creating impediments for my heart to beat…
But somehow the heart plays hide and seek
And before you can realise… it gets its way …
And You only experience subtle hints of glee and glow all day…
For there are these little little things… so dear… so naïve… That it makes you do…
After ages today I feel the way I do…
Its honest… independent and still a little meak…
But with aspirations… hopes… and dreams to exceed…
The heart has half a mind to weep and sob….
Hard to understand why my heart would throb….

Mann to hai ki tumhe jeb mein rakh ke ghumun…
Par darr hai ki it will smother you…
Tumhare nikalte hi mann karta hai tumhe wapis bula lun…
Par bahaane kahaan… bas dhoondti hi rehti hun….
If you could JUST ONCE read my eyes….
They speak oodles… I sure don’t have the voice or the words which are wise..

I am just like any other girl I realise...
Justifying to myself why I let go of all things wise...
I might not have ten things to prove this bubbly notion...
Just two are enough to keep my mind at play and in commotion...

But how easily befooled are we
That the invisible we start to see...
That the unsaid we start to hear...
And that the unreal we begin to fear...

Yet my dear heart has heart indeed...
It finds another excuse, be there or not a need...
There isn’t much logic you or I can rightly demand...
For the heart has reasons... that reason does not understand....

FLEETING THOUGHTS

20.07.2011
01.00 AM
Even as I note down the date and the time I realize that time is passing by…
And I just keep waiting for a clear blue sky.
Even re-reading a note written to me months ago leaves me stirred, reminding me people care and they hurt for me.
We all have various ways of showing affection,
- By writing letters or by breaking connections.
Yes. I see it all, I understand it well.
There are stories running in my head I wish I could tell…
I see myself constantly fighting and debating with myself…
To take out time from all that to dialogue with others is yet far…
There were days when thoughts flowed from my mind into words which were connected to each other and they made heart filling sense…
More so, those thoughts were happy… they were inspired and they believed in the promise of a tomorrow just as I desired…
But it doesn’t seem so now…
My thoughts have changed and so has my tomorrow…

Why I call for clear blue skies is to see those uncertain bubbly dreams again… I like to look at the night sky outside the window of the car cause I can see so many stars twinkling! They flash alternately making the sky shimmer and sparkle! Its beautiful! Maybe somewhere up there I could see a shooting star and make a noble wish although there is much to ask for…
But lets leave the plenty to fate of our deed, as it has been since ever… I bear the fruits now (with humility and perseverance) so I shall forever…

But I wish to dream more often… or just even a quiet mind that simply focuses on my breathing. How many people would appreciate having time to spend just experience themselves breathe…. Many won’t even get the sense of it all…
But when I do, I feel a sense of connectivity between two breaths.. there is a deep melody and it gets deeper as your breaths grow longer and slower… its relaxing…

I saw Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara yesterday.
- soulful.
There were moments when Farhan Akhtar was narrating certain verses. In those moments all audience in the theatre were quiet and one could feel at that moment all to be one, everyone was silently thinking of some dream they think of over and over again that takes them to a happy place in troubled times… That music was soothing, that view was calming and those words were scintillating!

saving it...

I miss you persistently... I haven't felt loved and important for a while... You seem to be falling short of my expectation no matter how low I keep the bar... I get amazed every time... I think maybe this time you would come through...
But you don't realize, do you? That I cry and bleed
with every desperate moment I pass without your much desired heed...
Nobody needs anyone to cope with hard times
but you approach the dearest friend to make good times...
I feel stranded and deserted even in a crowd,
its just crowd for I always am seeking whom I make proud...
But its so sad that I have to look around....
Why should I when so long ago you I found,
but you are not here anymore!
And that keeps me confused and sore...
Do I wait and keep my life on standstill,
cos I wish to keep you my priority as long as and untill,
I collapse and all expectations are shattered...
I try hard... I do,
to hold on to you...
but to grab hold of you every time I want you around is exhausting...
Sometime show me your heart, sometime show me you're more eager than willing...
I know its not who you are,
but this isn't who you earlier were...
I want you at times, I need you at times, sometimes all I need you to do is pick up the damn phone, and I really don't want to be tortured while I await you to call next...
You are a fantastic friend and a heart of gold, I wish I had you more to have and to hold...
I am afraid to tell you how much I love you, cos I know I would be misunderstood...

Those Were The Days

Those were the days when life was so careless,
When I would wait for you in that winter chill at CS,
When we were running against time every day to attend class,
But would end up bunking it, cos we missed it alas...

Those were the days when we could be we,
When we used to sit for endless hours at VC,
When all we did was read and write for the love of it,
With cigarettes, coffee and music and a room dim lit,

Those were the days when nights never ended,
When morning was a stranger cos we never did meet it,
When we shared our dreams and aspirations and problems with which we dealt,
How we disclosed what our hearts felt, and how we became each other’s heartfelt…

Those were the days when we were too smart for studies
When we spent all the time creating memories with buddies,
And after procrastinating all those precious days at the thought of toil,
When were finally left with the bitter sweet taste of burning the midnight lamp’s oil.

Those were the days when we searched for meaning and purpose,
When we wondered if we could deliver when responsibilities would come on us,
When I wrote of meeting a tomorrow, which is all I hoped for a today
That, surrounded with deadlines and reminders, with a hint of smile, I am missing yesterday...

Winter's Peeking....

There's a hint of chill in the air, maybe winter is peeking here...
You can smell the night flower filling the air, it just gives goosebumbs to await the arrival.
What craze this song brings I fail to understand, but I don't bother either.
It's a tease from the past I guess. I take a shot at believing all old smiles are hither.
Jus like the weather they are playing hide and seek and keep me guessing.
Ticklishly they keep alive in me the longing.
So many thoughts are playing in my mind, they are random, not in chain,
and just as they came they wud go in vain.
But today I have them catured. They tease, tickle, hide and peek... leaving just that hint.
But now I am holding them close just this way just as they are faint.
These words today swing blissfully twirled around the strings of this song. Aaah... That smell jus comes and with warmth envelopes me,
and it has given that gift of words that are free.
I await winter eagerly! It has brought a welcoming present that I sought for so long,
And as always so comfortably, it has cooled the heat of body and mind which was strong.
Maybe it's just my fantasy but there's mist in the night light and a chill in the morning air.
It's about to arrive... Winter is peeking here!

AT WORK… AT EASE…

It’s not a lot of times when people would feel this way…
I wish I was at home right now. I would've loved to sit in the balcony and read my book. The ever favourite combination of a hot cup of joe and a smoke…. And some good music…. I would be at bliss then… I would also be at bliss if we exchanged the book wid a dear friend.
But I am happy yet. I am at office… working for 14 continuous days, 12-14 hrs a day since I began… I am tired… exhausted… my feet seem to no longer be able to flaunt my weight. And there is some pending work. But there is this sense of happiness and satisfaction and I am not at all sad or cribbing abt the fact that I am not at home wid that book or friend in this lovely weather….. I am enjoying it with work today for a change….

12/01/07

02:03 pm

VILLAGE CAFÉ

These are also days tht will never return…

Just chilling… sittin here at vc… reading my book and if it gets boring… I have a friend here to gimme company… bunkin college for days at a stretch… not caring whatever is happennin there… how my friends are… having time at my disposal jus the way I wanna spend it… no commitments to take care of… no deadlines to meet… no busy schedules… idle as always seeing so many crazy ppl sittin arnd me… smoking… chatting… laughin away to glory… studying… grooving to the beats of the songs, just like me…

Life is a treat this way…

I enjoy every second tht I spend here n those tht I had… and always will… I can still go back to those evergreen days tht I n mayank spent here building up a beautifull friendship….

And I know…. Some few years from mow….

When I’ll no longer have any free time…

When getting time to just rest only will also be an ordeal…

When I’ll have a good job… commitments to take care of… deadlines to meet….

I still will be the same me… but times will change n wid it will change my priorities...

And then…. I’ll remember today as a sweet memory…. And miss today….