12/01/07

02:03 pm

VILLAGE CAFÉ

These are also days tht will never return…

Just chilling… sittin here at vc… reading my book and if it gets boring… I have a friend here to gimme company… bunkin college for days at a stretch… not caring whatever is happennin there… how my friends are… having time at my disposal jus the way I wanna spend it… no commitments to take care of… no deadlines to meet… no busy schedules… idle as always seeing so many crazy ppl sittin arnd me… smoking… chatting… laughin away to glory… studying… grooving to the beats of the songs, just like me…

Life is a treat this way…

I enjoy every second tht I spend here n those tht I had… and always will… I can still go back to those evergreen days tht I n mayank spent here building up a beautifull friendship….

And I know…. Some few years from mow….

When I’ll no longer have any free time…

When getting time to just rest only will also be an ordeal…

When I’ll have a good job… commitments to take care of… deadlines to meet….

I still will be the same me… but times will change n wid it will change my priorities...

And then…. I’ll remember today as a sweet memory…. And miss today….

10/12/06

04:11AM

has it ever happened to u that every time u listen to some good song only one person comes in your thoughts…

has it ever happened that u heard some song n realized who is the ONE person you wanna be with forever… till so long that, that togetherness would never come to an end…

that u realized who is the ONE you wanna fall head over heels for…

or more…

the ONE you wanna feel the strongest feeling for…

the last n everlasting love…

and more importantly that ONE falls in love with you too…

so much so, that, that is the last end you wanna meet..

the final destiny as you want it to be…

the HORIZON…

the point you know you will never reach… cos its just an illusion you see where the earth n the sky meet…

where you n your ONE would meet…

it’s just an imaginary line we see…

we wanna believe…

but is the IMMPOSSIBLE…

A battle played between your mind n heart…

Its love you lost in your heart…

Its love you lost your heart to….

CAUSE and ACTION

23/12/2007
12:53 am
You are my heart, you beat in my heart...
You are the way, You are my destiny...
You are my hunger, You are my food...
You are the one i wanna sleep with, you are my dream...
You bring the music, you are in my songs...
You are the light, You are my shadow...
You are my lover, You are my love...
You are the joy, and you are the laughter....
You are the reason fro my sorrows, you bring me tears...
You are my wish, You are my God...
You are my reasons, and you are my answers...
You are the means, you are the end...
You are where i begin, and it's you where i end...

03/01/2008
i wanna get DRUNK.... Drunk enough to be out of my senses yet not unconscious. i wanna SING songs so loud that my throat dries up.... i wanna take a PLUNGE in ice cold water and FLOAT around and look up in the SKY and gaze at the STARS and watch them roam in circles in front of my eyes... i wanna DANCE for so long that my feet get numb to the pain.... i wanna RUN! run si fast that even the wind can't catch me... i wanna CRY... cry unconsollably like a little kid that tears roll down my cheeks and wash away all possible sorrows i ever had.... i wanna HUG a friend... hug for so long that it may only seem like forever and be hugged so tight and with the assurance that i won't be let go of ever. i wanna LAUGH... and that i wanna laugh with "all my heart" for so long that my stomach hurts and my head spins so hard that i FALL on the dew wet-long-fresh-green grass and ROLE from one end to the other... lay there... and just SMILE....

If today is a happy day… why is it that the heart aches…..

If today is such an important day… why it that every day that went by, comes rushing back…

Every little thing that combined and entwined with each other seems so significant.

When I didn’t pay heed earlier every move today is precious and so important,

Only when your presence was a hindrance then… now its awaited anxiously…

Where I used to plead u not to disturb my sleep, I dread going to bed, even if I have to roam around aimlessly.

I miss sharing all the things we shared and even when your heart wasn’t into it.

I miss eating your Maggie and your scolding me for it.

I miss wearing your clothes even when they didn’t fit.

I miss hating you for never staying at home cos u waned to meet sumit.

Even if u’d met him jus 12 hrs back.

I hate waking up everyday n not finding you by my side.

I hate having to call you everytime I wanna confide.

I hate that I wanned to be where you are but all that I have is u on the phone right now.

(5:33 minutes later)

and I hate that we hung up cos there wasn’t much you could really do to make me feel better anyhow.

There were days when for no rhyme or reason you’d get the whole house on its toes running around for you.

But u were the princess and pampered so much, and no matter how much we hated it, we sure as hell miss it too.

14. February.2009

12:54 am

I am sure you know what failure is
What it means to see your life fall apart like this.
Watching your dreams shatter into a million pieces
Knowing you had your whole life in front of you hoping to go heights and distances.

But has it been so bad you couldn’t sleep at night.
Realizing how many disappointments you’ll have to fight.
An air of uncertainty surrounding you constantly
And you suddenly wake up with this urge to vent out desperately

Has it been so hard so you could not sleep at night?
Knowing things just might never be alright

Hearing constantly how much people expect of you
That someday you’ll make their dreams come true
Realizing how much you too expect of yourself
And yet knowing you’ll fail specially when it wasn’t too much itself…

Has it ever happened you couldn’t sleep night after night…
Cos you knew, things will never again be alright...

Are you tired of lying at each and every step of your life
Every move you make is on the edge of the knife.
Tired of hiding each failure, every mistake…
Cos the truth they deserve will only shatter and break.

Has it been bad enough you didn’t dare sleep at night…
Cos the only thing that reigns your mind is that nothing is going to set things right.

So many damages now made beyond repair.
nothing can change it no matter how much you care.
Living with this weight day in and day out
But its hard to accept it’s a fact beyond any doubt.

Has it been so bad you couldn’t sleep at night
Cos u prayed all night that when the sun shines everything would be fine.

If only it was a failure you could face up to
And then you could move on in life to make it through
But this is only messed up enough to stay perpetual
And you have got to live on with this truth, no matter how cruel.

A constant battle fought in your mind
What will hurt them when they find….
That the dreams they saw for you can’t come true any more….
Or the person responsible for those unfulfilled dreams lives no more…

I am sure you know what failure is
What it means to see your life fall apart like this.
But has it been so bad you haven’t been able to sleep at night.
Knowing that nothing you ever do well will make this right….

The happening of some actions is so long ago that they're now faded and blurred and seem uncertain as a dream...

AN ODE TO HIMANSHU

My heart is pounding as if it'll explode with eagerness and anxiety Cause today my baby I'll see... My eyes though are misty, But it's only cause my heart's filled with glee...

It's overwhelming to realize I'll get my favorite hug today. The craze is too much say... Every breath i take is every breath i count, As every moment passes... Is a moment less till we rebound...

I can't sleep tonight... nor do I want to... There's too much excitement to control... Nor do i want to...
Since morning I've run over a million times in my mind, The moment we'll finally see each other, I've pondered over what changes in the other we'll find, Finally it's that moment again that I'll savor forever...

TYPICALITY

Days can be so typical, it's worth being amazed if you don't really have anything better to do, like right now I... From waking up everyday in the same position as last morning, to preferably pulling an all nighter if you have an early rise mapped... We talk to the same set of people everyday or as regularly as possible instead of making efforts to keep in touch with the rest of the phone book. We wish to have the same dream every night, about that special someone, but as typical as it can be, our shut eyes never see them... Once on the road, you just know which gas station you stop at to get the tank filled... and the correct anticipation of stoppage at that particular ATM machine. Life has it's subtle ways of comforting our sub-conscience as we keep intact the familiarities as unpretentiously as possible... Who doesn't flinch at change....? Change is gradual... but then.. that too is just typical....

DREAMING WITH OPEN EYES

Saumya is dreaming with her eyes open... there are promises and hopes of ecstatic tomorrows... of futures of togetherness till death does us part... there are souls dipped in love and happy about it surrounding her who have made her wanna believe in it... there is a want to feel all the blood rush to the heart, making it wanna explode right outta the chest... the cheeks flush, and almost incapable of uttering sensible words, and that weird weak feeling in the knees and there... just then... u collapse and fall in love... There is this belief that love comes to all and it's only a matter of time when she will say, I never thought i would feel this way for someone someday... It's real... It's to arrive... There is this belief.... That is why Saumya is dreaming with her eyes open...