WHEN ANGELS BLEED

THERE ARE SOME PEOPLE IN OUR LIVES WHOM WE ALWAYS TAKE IN VERY HIGH REGARD, ALMOST NEXT TO GOD, ONLY WE KNOW THAT THEY ARE HUMANS, SO WE CHOOSE TO BELIEVE THEY ARE ANGELS SENT ESPECIALLY FOR US BY GOD. BUT THEN THERE ARE TIMES, WHEN THEY EMOTE, AND EXPOSE THEMSELVES, ARE VULNERABLE AND YOU ARE AMAZED AT THE SIGHT AND THE EXPERIENCE, WHICH IS ALMOST HARD TO BELIEVE AND AT THE SAME TIME YOU ARE ECSTATIC WITH JOY OF KNOWING THAT YES… ITS YOU WHO MAKES THEM HUMAN TOO…IT IS FOR YOU THAT THEY ARE HUMAN… YOU MATTER.. YOU MAKE THAT DIFFERENCE...  IN THOSE MOMENTS YOU KNOW IT’S A BOND OF EQUALS… FOR THOSE MOMENTS, THEY ARE NOT ABOVE YOU… THEY ARE YOUR PARALLELS, FEELING, BLEEDING CRYING OR HURTING OR HAPPY , JUST LIKE LIKE YOU DO…

Long - distance Short - comings

I want you here to so you can know me and I you..  Being familiar quite with each other's voices is no more than the tip of the ice berg.. 
I want  you here to not just hear me laugh but to see me cover my mouth while I do and maybe squish my cheeks cos my face now hurts from the constant grin that I have had since the past 2 hours for no reason.. 

I want u to see me squirm and shift in my spot and have a fingers fight when you say something sweet without any particular agenda or msg to convey..  And i want you to  see me when I finally fall silent... 

And i want you here to see u take a gasp when I dare say something daring..  And The kind of reaction I would want after such an episode can't be on call..  

I want gentle and non stop conversation between our fingers while spontaneous,  honest and relaxed conversations go on between our minds... 

Snippets

My heart sank down to the bottom of my chair when you took my name.. My full name..  (but later I realized I only had electricity to thank for that) Are u as mind fucked as I am..  I don't think so..  Men don't process tht way...  Alright then..  For the sake of sanity..  I will try and get u out of my head..  Such a  problem I am... Jussssst...  Stay..  I wanna get to know you so that I can justify this love I have for you.. 

There are so many things I wanna say to you..  So many reasons not to...  

Your job here is done...  I might have just lost myself to you..  Its just a lil alien feeling...  And i wanna deny it... just don't lead me on... U're cruel..  It's now established...  Pls be gentle and them pls blow my mind away ... 

At such a nascent stage..  So young..  There aren't even any memories to hold on to,  to indulge in.. So what exactly to miss..  To remember..  To just get lost in..  Like I wanna breathe but there isn't any air..  So what do I breathe...? Here's a cry for the future.. 

*problem * I've started having conversations with you in my mind cause I have stopped having conversations with you in person..  God save me now..  

Finally..  My subconscious has revealed you after much wonder..  I finally dreamt of you..  It took longer than it shud have..  Not tht it makes any difference..

Reruns of conversations with you...

So I had these doubts..  N these worries..  And these thoughts..  And just wen I was about to bury them..  You brought them to life and made them the harsh reality of my life..  (this was not for you..  But just a thought inspired)

How do I know if I am physically attracted to you..?  If everytime I think of you I think of the way you would write poetry with your body and mine..   How you would kiss me and how you would undress me..  And how I would feel as you move about.. Even though I have not been physically present with you.. For the first time in my life I am not afraid of being absolutely bare in front of you..  Or that I M not beautiful or thin enough.. I feel bold..  Beautiful..  Confident..  Have you instilled these feelings in me? I know already you would blow my mind..  Ruin me..  And i don't want it any other way...  Does this qualify as physical attraction?

I wanna love you the way you love..  I wanna be like you..  Think like you..  Its so strange and unwarranted yet I wanna be an extension of you...  What else can I do..  Ab tumhi sahi lagte ho...

S: there are many things I have said to you..  Many names I have called you by..  All in my thoughts
A: why didn't you ever tell me?
S: I would have just as much as I will in good time..  When the conversation stears in that direction...
A: that way u'll always keep waiting...
S: I have only been waiting for you..  Lemme know when the wait is over..
A: know now

My Fifty

M in love with him...  I might just be ruined..  But yes I am too in love with the book..  The story..  M in love with the author! What a heart she has to blend love n lust together... She's gifted indeed..  There's a reason this book got the fame it did..  Surely well deserved...  There are many books tht have erotism...  This one is class apart..
I have felt horror and fright..  And face turning pale..  And heart racing and eyes racing through words to know what next...  Its amazing how everytime sex was so special..  Everytime I love you felt more meaningful and deep

I am...  I got words! I got the gift of writing back..  I was blocked for soo many days...  Words flow now..  Unreserved...  M not having trouble giving shape to my thoughts and feelings..  Even hellos are sed like they're a piece of literary marvel... Its a satisfying and accomplishing feeling... 

The Dancing Body - The Dancing Soul

Naukuchiatal  (offsite)
April 12th 2015
Arnd 9 pm

While parikshit was dancing spectacularly..  Acing and mastering his well crafted  sharp and confident steps..  There was dheeraj..  Well, nobody knows what dheeraj was doing but he sure as hell was meaning it with all his heart..  Feeling it acutely independently intensely and wildly with his dear dear heart...  His appearance and movement was no less than the projection of what his heart was feeling and making him feel and the feelings in his heart..  I deny calling this anything other dancing..  The most and the only way the soul rises and takes shape in you... Dancing..  The movement that comes straight from the heart..  Unreserved..  Unhindered..  THAT is dancing with your heart..  Not your feet..  If someone were to ask who was dancing better..  I think we all know what the answer is..

"And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music"
                                       - Nietzsche 

Eyes

I love your eyes... I cant wait for you to look at me with those eyes... And i cant wait to see the look in those eyes when you look at me..